I don’t think I’ve ever come across someone who hasn’t been cheated on. In fact,  I’ve rarely come across people who haven’t cheated as well. The sad truth about today’s day and age is that infidelity is as common as smoking marijuana or teen drinking. 

I’ve been both a victim and contributor to cheating.

Honestly, It’s not difficult for me to stay faithful, I actually prefer it. In hindsight of my past, I do regret being unfaithful (which was an immediate act of vengeance, not a moment of weakness). I do wish I would have merely ended the relationships instead of stooping to their level. But, what is done, is done, and I’m unable to change my past, so I wont beat myself up about it.

Of all the boyfriends (and fiancé) that I’ve had, I’ve never been affected by their infidelities, I’ve never gotten upset, or so much as shed a tear … until S.

Of all the people who’ve betrayed me, S, who’s done no worse act than any other, has hurt me the most. You can probably say he’s the worst offender because he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. Thinking about him touching another woman sickens me. Knowing what he’s done, and what it’s done to me, angers me.

For anyone who’s been a victim of cheating can understand the absolute ‘mind-fuck’ it can be. You constantly worry about what they’re doing and who they’re with. You start to doubt yourself, “am I not attractive enough?”, “am I not intelligent enough?”, “does he not love me anymore?”, “what’s wrong with me?” … I’ve been there, I’ve asked that.

But here’s the truth about infidelity: cheating is a personal character flaw. People CHOOSE to cheat. They can blame it on the booze, Goose gotchya feelin’ loose, and whatnot, but it’s not an valid excuse. Whether you’re under the influence, or dead-sober, you, personally, make that decision.

What was S’s excuse? alcohol, of course. Did I believe him? Of course not. What was the true reasoning behind it? I may never know, but I could speculate that he found comfort with another woman during our WWIII phase- the phase in which all we did was fight.

Is he sorry? eh. He claims he is, but I may never know the truth about that either. What I do know is that I love him, and that he does love me, and we’re willing to fix all the damages that we’ve done to our relationship.

And that’s what you need to figure out if, God forbid, someone you love betrays you. You either choose to leave them, or you choose to work it out. Either way, make the decision for yourself, and don’t let the opinions of other’s sway yours. People make mistakes and deserve second chances, just know when to walk away if they throw theirs away.

“You is smart, you is kind, you is important.”